Five Stars is back! Chew Steel and I picked him up at the airport. We stopped by to show filial piety to our parents and then Ubered out to try the burgers at Bastion Burgers. Let’s listen to Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat for this post.

Bastion is located in PinBar, a bar that reminded me a little of the now-defunct Cambie Hostel in Vancouver, from the pleasantly drawn graffiti in the washroom stalls to the moody shadows in the room.

We sat ourselves, and shortly after, our server stopped by. Five Stars ordered a regular iced tea ($6), and I ordered a hard iced tea ($15). Curious, he sipped my cocktail and winced, squealing it tasted like rubbing alcohol. I shared the O.G. Smashy ($13) and the American Cheese ($14) with Five Stars.

The O.G. was smaller than the American Cheese, as it wasn’t stacked because it didn’t come with lettuce and tomato. The caramelized onions made it taste more savoury and sweet. Five Stars noted that the skirt was perfect on the patty, teetering on burnt and ultra-thin.

The American Cheese was the star of the two. Five Stars fawned over the crisp, lacy layers of the smashed patties. The layers of beef made the burgers unique. But what won me over was the full-on beef flavour and the hot melted orange cheese that stuck to my teeth, balanced against the perfect proportion of chilled tomato, lettuce, and onion. Each bite was decadent yet refreshing. Five Stars exclaimed he could taste each distinct layer of meat, sauce, vegetable, and the bun.

I asked Five Stars if the American cheeseburger beat Class Clown’s. He said he’d need a side-by-side taste test as it had been a while since his last visit. Still, he admitted Bastion was easily on par. Class Clown has the edge with its killer wine list, but the absurd waitlist is brutal.

The side of the tater tots was ultra crunchy and hot from the fryer. Five Stars liked garlic aioli and dipping the crisp edges of the beef into it. I would get the tots and the American Cheese again. Five Stars was already planning his next visit before we’d even finished.

The next day, I took Five Stars to Holy Grill. I’ve had my eye on this Calgary classic for years. My brother-in-law Dave swears by the burgers, and I’ve eaten their food when I worked at Bow Valley Square. The building would throw parties for all the employees; their caterer was Holy Grill. The food is straight-up legit. I remember one spread with pizza, burgers, skewers, calamari, mussels, and other delights. Everything tasted homemade. I parked myself by the table and ate like Honey Boo Boo before a pageant.

I like the simplicity of the setup at Holy Grill on 10 Ave SW. You go up to the kitchen to order and pay. Five Stars wanted to try the eggs benedict ($18.99) with smash browns, while I picked the beef dip panini ($19.89). I requested soft eggs, which arrived with warm orange yolks that were runny when poked. He was especially thrilled by the little jar of extra hollandaise. He’s always griping that most places skimp on it, so he thought it was a thoughtful move by Holy Grill to throw in a bonus pour.

The panini was stacked with thin slices of roast beef and melted mozzarella. The shell was crunchy, while the beef dip added a soft, wet kiss of beefy broth. Five Stars praised the juicy beef slices and said he’d return for the same dishes. I preferred Five Stars smash browns over the fries I got with my panino. The potatoes were crunchy on the outside while the inside was hot and meltingly soft. We’ll be back, but I’m adding a burger to the lineup next time.

For dinner, Chew Steel and I took Five Stars to Pure Saigonese. But first, we stopped at Side Hustle for a drink. It’s my favourite lounge in the city. Maybe it’s the welcoming all-female crew, the laid-back crowd, or the safe vibe from the combination of all the above.

After, we moseyed over to Pure Saigonese and finally met the famous Matt. If you look at Google’s reviews, you will see that more than half of the customers are gushing about his service. I’ll admit, I thought his friends were behind those rave reviews, especially since, on previous visits, the service of the non-Matts didn’t quite match the high standard of the food. But Matt is the real deal. He is professional, helpful, and busy hustling to manage the entire restaurant.

Since we ordered drinks, wings were half off ($8), so we took advantage and ordered house salted chili and chili lime nuac. The chili lime guac cham batter was buttery and sweet, with the tiniest tingle of heat. The house-seasoned chili chicken wings were good as well, though tamer. The batter reminds me of Church’s chicken. Size-wise, the wings are bigger than pub wings but not as fat as Lonely Mouth.

I always order the shrimp mango papaya salad ($12) and the shrimp tempura ($15). Our plate contained four mega-charred prawns. I love the contrast between the wildly crunchy vegetables, peanuts, and sweet-tart dressing.

Everyone’s favourite was the seafood rice ($20). What hooked me was the unbeatable trio of real Dungeness crab, shrimp, and tobiko. The generous chunks of flaky white crab meat tasted sweet and delicate, and combined with those chewy grains of rice and those briny bursts of tobiko, I couldn’t stop shovelling the rice into my mouth.

Five Stars is on a rigorous diet, borderline unhealthy, but even he couldn’t resist. He complained that the food was so good he couldn’t stop eating like a pig. Lam should patent the seafood fried rice. I usually don’t order fried rice, as I make a good one at home. However, nothing beats Lam’s top-notch ingredients. This one’s a game-changer.

Lam Pham came out to say hi and dropped off a treat for us – the roasted duck crostini ($12). The crostini was lightly toasted and airy, while the pate was creamy and not overpowering. Five Stars thought it tasted like a duck Yorkshire pudding, like a Sunday roast, but not as heavy. Chew Steel raved about this bite, even though he’s not usually a pate guy. He just returned from Vietnam and said the food at Pure Saigonese is as good or even better than what he had in Vietnam.

My older brother Narc is coming to pay homage to my parents in July. I’m not 100% sure where I’ll take him yet, but it feels like a case worth investigating. Somewhere where the flavour is worth interrogating, and the BBQ meat doesn’t crack under pressure. To be continued.